中國家庭并不常用電話答錄機(AnsweringMachine)，但在北美家庭，幾乎家家都用。外來電話撥入時，若該電話號碼的主人不在，就會讓撥入者聽到一段留言，這叫Answer。絕大多數的Answer都是千篇一律的：說明主人不在，請撥入者留下簡短信息及姓名電話號碼等。
以下幾則特別的Answer體現了美國人的幽默，你能體會出其幽默所在嗎?
1)MywifeandIcan’tcometothephonerightnow，butifyou’llleaveyournameandnumber，we’llgetbacktoyouassoonaswe’refinished.
2)Hi.ThisisJohn.Ifyouarethephonecompany，Ialreadysentthemoney.Ifyouaremyparents，pleasesendmoney.Ifyouaremyfinancialaidinstitution，youdidn’tlendmeenoughmoney.Ifyouaremyfriends，youowememoney.Ifyouareafemale，don’tworry，Ihaveplentyofmoney.
3)Hi，I’mnothomerightnowbutmyansweringmachineis，soyoucantalktoitinstead.Waitforthebeep(beep：主人的Answer講完以后，AnswerMachine會發出一聲beep，這時候來電話者就可以開始留言了。).
4)Hi!John’sansweringmachineisbroken.Thisishisrefrigerator.Pleasespeakveryslowly，andI’llstickyourmessagetomyselfwithoneofthesemagnets(磁鐵).注：通常情況下，來電話者面對錄音講話都不太自然，所以語言往往很急促，三句兩句話就完了。這可苦壞了接聽留言的主人，聽多少遍都聽不清留言者到底是誰，講了些什么。對于母語非英文的人，這種感覺會更深。所以，以下這兩段幽默干脆就首先告訴電話撥入者，我的AnswerMachine不好使，你且慢慢來。
5)Hello，thisisSally’smicrowave.Heransweringmachinejusteloped(私奔)withhertapedeck(磁帶驅動器)，soI’mstuckwithtakinghercalls.Say，ifyouwantanythingcookedwhileyouleaveyourmessage，justholdituptothephone.
6)Hello，youaretalkingtoamachine.Iamcapableofreceivingmessages.Myownersdonotneedsiding(墻板，壁板)，windows，orahottub(浴盆)，andtheircarpetsareclean.Theygivetocharity(慈善團體)throughtheirofficeanddonotneedtheirpicturetaken.Ifyou’restillwithme，leaveyournameandnumberandtheywillgetbacktoyou.
7)Hi.Iamprobablyhome.I’mjustavoidingsomeoneIdon’tlike.Leavemeamessage，andifIdon’tcallback，it’syou.
8)Thisisnotanansweringmachine--thisisatelepathic(心靈感應術)thought-recordingdevice.Afterthetone，thinkaboutyourname，yourreasonforcallingandanumberwhereIcanreachyou，andI’llthinkaboutreturningyourcall.注：tone：與對第3)句beep的注釋含義完全一樣，主人的Answer講完以后，AnswerMachine會發出一聲beep，這時候來電話者就可以開始留言了。
9)Hi，thisisGeorge.I’msorryIcan’tanswerthephonerightnow.Leaveamessage，andthenwaitbyyourphoneuntilIcallyouback.
10)Ifyouareaburglar(夜賊)，thenwe’reprobablyathomecleaningourweaponsrightnowandcan’tcometothephone.Otherwise，weprobablyaren’thomeandit’ssafetoleaveusamessage.
11)You’regrowingtired.Youreyelids(眼皮)aregettingheavy.Youfeelverysleepynow.Youaregraduallylosingyourwillpower(毅力)andyourabilitytoresistsuggestions.Whenyouhearthetoneyouwillfeelhelplesslycompelledto(感到無助而被迫做某事)leaveyourname，number，andamessage.
12)Pleaseleaveamessage.However，youhavetherighttoremainsilent.Everythingyousaywillberecordedandwillbeusedbyus.注：youhavetherighttoremainsilent：電影電視里警察出示逮捕令時常講的一句話。西方社會講究人權，任何疑犯在未審判之前不得認為有罪，因而不能逼供、更不可拷打：他們有權保持沉默。
13)Hello，you’vereachedJimandSonya.Wecan’tpickupthephonerightnow，becausewe’redoingsomethingwereallyenjoy.Sonyalikesdoingitupanddown，andIlikedoingitlefttoright...realslowly.Soleaveamessage，andwhenwe’redonebrushingourteeth，we’llgetbacktoyou.
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